Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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Black People

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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A horse walks into a barn.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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