Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

homosexuals are gay

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Moo! I'm a goat!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Z.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops