A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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this is not a drill.

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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