John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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jcjdj

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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