A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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