If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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