Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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