Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an abosolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

Anti-Jokes are the bomb .org

A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!

How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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Why did the imagrint cross the road? Cuz he stole the chickin's job.

How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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