A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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