Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops