"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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a man said hi.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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Yo mamas so fat.

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A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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roses are red violets are blue im a paki and you are a jew!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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