What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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tom pauling

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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Do you speak alien? Hola.

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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how bout that airplane foood!!!1

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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