Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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heads up!

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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