what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Xzibit

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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