What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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once upon a time, it snowed

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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