Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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Before Super Mario existed what did people play? Instruments.

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I have a dig bick you that read wrong you read that wrong too.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Basically copying you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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