What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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A black man in a country bar.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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penis haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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