What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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