On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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Why did the fisherman go to Alaska? The commercial fishing business is strong there and it was a sound financial decision.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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