'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did that guy die? because the SS thought he was a jew.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops