- Anti Joke

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

my gramma died

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

I said I hate niiggers

What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

Knock knock! Who's there? Fck. Fck who? F*ck you.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

my gramma died

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

I said I hate niiggers

What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

my gramma died

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock knock! Who's there? Fck. Fck who? F*ck you.