Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops