A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

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Do you want icecream, Björn?

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why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

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You

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? I don't know but it's not the little girl.

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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69

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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Tim and Eric

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you and your family will die tonight

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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