What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Jesse gets so many ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

thumb_up thumb_down -56

So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

thumb_up thumb_down -82

How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +53

So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops