What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

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F? No k

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what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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