My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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An asian loses to you in starcraft..

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Gay's

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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