What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

John Stamos.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

thumb_up thumb_down -1

DESERT

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops