What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Penis

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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