Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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Hi

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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What's 9+10? 19

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a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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when life throws you lemons your an idiot because it wont

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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Why was the gay kid beaten to death Because he was also an outstanding racist and lived in a highly populated african american community.

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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