Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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