What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

George Bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hillary Clinton

thumb_up thumb_down +6

raisin boogers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops