I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He died.

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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