A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

what?

What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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