What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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Okay, I just really want you to trust me again,

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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brandon ya twwat

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops