Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

Dylan is gay

I said I hate niiggers

monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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