- Anti Joke

why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

The joke below is absolute shit.

What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

You know what's funny? Clowns.

-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

I'm a champion. I do what I want.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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