What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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