Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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