Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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