In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

My cat just died.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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