Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Faithful men.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops