Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops