Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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