George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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