Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

An orphan falls off a cliff.

"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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