A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Your big dick.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops