Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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