Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

thumb_up thumb_down -25

HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops