What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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