Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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