Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

No

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...