while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops