Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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