Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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69

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Andoni was here

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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