what looks like a banana? a penis

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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