Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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