Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

5 Italian guys from Long Island

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

Want to hear a joke? Obama

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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