What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock Fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a dyslexic man walked his god.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops