An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I am paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops