I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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