Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

Knock Knock? Come in.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

civil rights

Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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