Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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Have you heard about the angry chef? He beat his children

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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