The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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