What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Gustavo Andrade

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops