- Anti Joke

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

watch a i d s left

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??