How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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