Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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