What long black and tasty? Licorice

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Burp

thumb_up thumb_down +8

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops