What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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