What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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