How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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