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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

whats worse than failing your maths test?

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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