I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops