A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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knock knock Goodbye

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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