Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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69

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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