Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

Obama

Wanna hear a joke? no

kkkk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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