How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops