Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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