I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

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A man walks into a bar

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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