I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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