give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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sadf

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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