What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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1

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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