Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -39

whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What looks like Micheal Jackson but isn't Micheal Jackson A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops